[Piett walks by the entertainment room, when he hears......something odd on the TV. He stops and walks in on Herve watching..... something odd on the TV.]
Piett: What....what are you watching?
[He gets a closer look-see and...]
Piett: Oh no.
Herve: I'm watching SHADOW RUN, starring Michael Caine. And James Fox. And....
Piett: Please, just.....stop.
Herve: And Ken Colley!
Piett: Please.
Herve: Dude, it's your first scene in the movie and you're jacking to porn.
Piett: I am not! I'm--
Herve: You're what??
Piett: I'm.....just watching porn.
Herve: Aaaaaaaaahaha! You admited it!
Piett: Well, it's rather obvious the character is supposed to be watching it. No big secret with that audio.
Herve: Still, you confessed.
Piett: Guh, will you just get past this part and finish the movie?
Herve: Oh heck no. I already watched it. It's dreadful. A dreadful English movie with no closed captioning. Torture, I say. Isn't that right, Michael Caine?
[Herve looks to a man sitting in the lounger nearby. It is, indeed, Michael Caine.]
Michael Caine: Yes. That was a bad video distribution decision.
Piett: AHHH!!!
Michael Caine: Hello, Ken.
Piett: I don't go by that name anymore, Mike.
Michael Caine: Whatever, Ken. Anyway, the midget was belittling you.
Herve: Thank--hey!
Piett: Ha.
Herve: So that wasn't the worst of it, Piett. [pause] Can I call you Ken?
Piett: NO, NOW GET ON WITH IT!
Herve: Gah. So anyway, at one point I had to go check on something out of the room so I let it keep playing. I was gone for 10 minutes or so and when I got back the plot had not progressed at all. AT ALL. And at the end I was left trying to figure out what actually happened.
Piett: That sounds like a Netflix review.
Herve: Or a few put together, Ken. Because I go back in time and write them. [proudly, hands on his hips all hero-like] I can do that, you know.
Piett: Of course you can. [pause] Wait, so if you watched it, why were you back at this part?
Herve: I just went back to this part and waited until you came by.
Piett: Was it on pause.
Herve: No. I just kept looping it for a few minutes until you walked through, thus making it look like I was watching this part.
Piett: You.....you kept looping the part where I'm watching porn and, to over and over again.
Herve: I.....wait, what....no, you--
Piett: You were willingly watching that scenario, thinking I was jacking to porn.
Herve: No! I....you.....it....
Michael Caine: Yes. He was watching you possibly jack off.
Herve: He was not doing that!!!!
Piett: Gotcha.
Herve: You....bastard!
Michael Caine: Can I go now? This has just been a ridiculous affair. Much like SHADOW RUN, I'm afraid.
Piett: Sure. Thanks for the help, Mike.
Herve: Wait, wha? Did....did you manufacture this whole scheme??
Piett: It's like I time travelled loops around you and had him come here to back me up whilst making you think he was here to back you up. See? [proudly, hands on his hips all hero-like] I can do that too.
Herve: Fuck you.
Michael Caine: This makes no sense, and establishes a lot of nonsensical plot movements that cannot, even with the full power of science fiction storytelling behind it, be remotely possible. [pause] Makes more sense than THE SWARM, though.
Herve: You take that back. That was a fantastically ridiculous disaster movie.
Piett: Yeah. And leagues better than BEYOND THE POSIDEON ADVENTURE.
Michael Caine: Alright, I'll give you that one. Cheer, mates.
[Michael Caine waves as vanishes into the ether.]
Piett: How did he do that? Did he even have a time travel device? Did either of us give him one?
Herve: He's Michael Caine. Just stand in awe and wave back, Ken.
Piett: Never call me that again, midget.
Herve: Bastard. Just wave.
[And they do.]
*fin*
Herve: Hey, can we watch the movie where you dress up like a nun?
Piett: Almost forgot that movie was part of the title too, huh?
Herve: Yup. So can we?
Piett: It's a Nazi movie. I play a Nazi in it....
Herve: ...who momentarliy dresses as a nun to get to Gregory Peck....
Piett: Why are we still talking and not WATCHING THIS ALREADY!!!
Herve: Yay, Piett, yay!
*fin*
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