Piett: I....I don't know what this is.
Herve: This is tomfoolery, Piett. The utter tomfoolery of white people.
Piett: Are they....dancing?
Herve: Something like that, yeah.
Piett: They're just walking around and standing in lines and skipping in circles.
Herve: These are your peeps. Shouldn't you know?
Piett: They are not! They only appear to be! I grew up in the Outer Rim, on an Imperial world! It's not my fault I have had at one point in my life the same exact dialect as these.....these.....
Herve: Grasping for appropriate words?
Piett: Trying not to say the ones that come immediately to mind! This shit is embarassing!!
Herve: I can only hope this is actually a world from one of those parody novels where zombies and sea monsters run wild amongst the classic literature claptrap. [drinks] But it won't be. [drinks] It rarely is anymore. Remember the days when we'd just leap down there and kill them all with nary a thought of concern for them or common sense or law?
Piett: I'd like to think those were the old slightly-less coherent days. We're more.....refined these days.
Herve: If we were more refined you'd leap down and trot about like a jackenape. [looks up to the heavens] No, I really do feel like he's just given up on us.
Piett: Pshaw. We're the only creative outlet he's....ever really had. [drinks] How sad is that?
Herve: What's that old saying?
Piett: "Actually, Mary Todd, we should go to the theatre tonight. And then when we get home I'm gonna FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT"?
Herve: Are you quoting Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?
Piett: You're referencing literature quite a bit tonight. A bit more than I'd expect. [drinks] Which is absolutely none whatsoever. [pause] And no, I'm not.
Herve: Oh. Well, that's not what I was referencing.
Piett: Good lord, what is with you and your slight signs of intellectualism?! Did we each get the other's dialogue here?! [pause] Although fucking her brains out would explain an awful lot about that woman...
Herve: Here here.
[As they are about to touch glasses and toast, the Victorian Age of England suddenly - and almost violently - vanishs in front of their eyes, and reality suddenly jerks them into the Space Time Continuum. Herve promptly vomits.]
Piett: MY SHOES!!! [pause as he shakes the puke off] What the hell just happened there? Why are we bac--
[As Herve wipes his mouth and stands up, Piett silently grabs him head and twists it around.]
Herve: OH GOD I'M DEAD!!!wait wait....I'm obviously not because I'm still talking. I thought ther--WHA!!!????!?!?!
[Herve's eyes have met with what Piett had discovered only seconds before: the very nice and wonderful mansion of Cosmos and Chronos, masters of Space and Time......]
Herve & Piett: ...
[Respectively. Wow, guys, really?]
Herve & Piett: ...
[Well this is unfortunate. They normally talk when I want them to. Hrm. Anyway, the mansion of blah blah blah is being emptied and packed up by a moving company and driven away to lord knows where because I never really gave a good visual explanation of what the Continuum really looks like all these years. Hrm. Visual element woulda been nice. Maybe I should put this crap up on Kickstarter or something.]
Herve & Piett: ...
[Oh come on now! It's moving trucks! For all you know they're just moving to Scranton or Endor or something.]
Herve & Piett: ...
[I need someone to say it. Dammit, why can't I just move on?! Hold on...]
Will Friedle: FEEEEEEEENAHAHAHAHEY!!!!! [disappears, perhaps next appearing in the Boy Meets World revival - coming in 2014 to Disney Channel]
[Not him! Wait....]
George Gaynes: MAHONEY!!!! [clutches chest, falls over, plummets into the oblivion of the Continuum]
[Shit! Hang on, let me find him......YES! HERE HE IS!!!]
Richard Henry Lee: Respective..........LEE! [disappears]
[YEAH!!!]
Herve: .....I wanted to say so much.
Piett: A few seconds more and I was sure he'd just stop writing forever. I did not see the 1776 reference coming.
Herve: You should have, you heathen.
Piett: What is going on here? How long have we been gone?
Herve: Normally it's, like, a couple seconds, because there's always stuff on TV we want to get back for and watch.
Piett: We deftly traverse across timetreams and through parallel universes with the greatest of ease, yet still can't comprehend Tivo or On Demand.
Herve: Or VCRs.
Piett: Speak for yourself. [pause] Although it's been a while...
Cosmos: Jumping jehoshaphat, my friends! You're here in time!!
Piett [to self]: Evidently not.
Herve: Quiet, you, the man using old timey exclamations! Something bad is afoot!
Cosmos: Indeed! We've....we've been bought out!!
Herve: Good gravy!
Piett: Hullabaloo!!
Cosmos: Stop mooking me. I haven't said "jehoshaphat" in a Yoda's age.
Piett: No, we're really being serious with our shocked responses!
Herve: We were? [kick to the shin from Piett] Yes! We were!!
Cosmos: This is utterly traumatic.
Herve: I can imagine. You bitches are unemployed!
Cosmos: As are you!!
Herve: Gadzooks! So much for giving at shit about Tivo and On Demand now!
Piett: How does this even work?! Bought out....by who?
Cosmos: Bought out.......BY DISNEY!!!
[Herve vomits again.]
Piett: MY SHOES AGAIN!!!
Cosmos: I apologize for the time/space displacement, it can do a number on one's digestive system.
Herve: No, this was because of Disney!!
Piett: Well while Herve is shining my shoes we'll move the story forward.
Herve: I'm not s--
Piett: SHINE MY SHOES!
[Herve sighs, then leaves and returns moments later.]
Cosmos: This is a level of control I never knew you had.
Piett: Neither did I.
Cosmos: Kinky.
Piett: Stop that!
Cosmos: Fine. You probably want more details while he's....humbly at work.
Herve: I can hear you, asshole.
Cosmos: But not as well as usual. We're even taller to you now! More distance from way down there to way up here.
Piett: Burn. So how did this happen?
Cosmos: The hell if I know. I'm watching John the Baptist get beaten to death with giant mallets...
Piett: Good God, man, why?
Cosmos: I watch a lot every day, just happened to catch that. Plus I never knew they killed him with mallets. I figured spears and swords and typical ancient Roman stuff. But beheaded with a mallet.....they did *not* explain that one well in the Bible at all. So one minute that, then the next I'm being approached by Disney representatives and lawyers who throw legal mumbo-jumbo around quicker than a hiccup and somehow amidst the confusion I may have signed over the lease on this place and thus they've purchased the entirety of the Space/Time Continuum. I think they're leveling this place and expanding on the Hall of Presidents.
Piett: Awesome!
[Herve punchs him in the shin.]
Piett: I mean, horrible! Ish!
Piett: Please tell me they gave you Lucas money for it.
Cosmos: Rather certain all we got out of it was a condo in San Fransisco and 2 slightly positive reference letters to local bookstores in the Bay area.
Piett: Cond.....2....THAT'S IT?!?!!
Cosmos: To be fair, working in a bookstore woulda be kinda neat. They're so few and fleeting these days...
Piett: What about us?!?!
Cosmos: You? Oh.....well you're screwed, I reckon. [pause] Wonder why I hadn't reckoned that before now...
Piett: Son of a BITCH!!
Herve: Ok, I've only heard bits and parts from down here but I heard the yelling bits and I'm figuring things are not going well way up there.
[Piett grabs Herve and hoists him up to his feet.]
Herve: But I was *almost* finished! Aw man, I was really getting into it...
Piett: We're screwed, Herv! No payoff, no new jobs, nothing!
Herve: We still have all your stuff.
[Chronos walks in, sulking and obviously very depressed.]
Piett: Stop being so depressed. At least you have a home and possible financial future ahead of you...
Cosmos: Wait for it...
Piett: Wait for--
Chronos: A lifetime of devotion, years and eons of acquirement....laid to waste. Countless databases...gone. Gone forever...
Herve: What?
Chronos: The......the porn. It's all gone.
Piett [sternly]: What.
Herve: Oh no! I feel your pain, my friend...
Cosmos [facepalms]: You should.
Piett: Huh?
Chronos: It's ALL gone...
Herve: I know, dude. It's ok.
Chronos: GONE! ALL OF IT!!
Herve: There the....wait, what are--?
Chronos: ALL OF IT! ALL GONE! FOREVER!! NO MORE EVER!!!
Piett: What's happening here?
Cosmos: One of Chronos' side projects was......[sighs]......cataloging and archiving all porn ever made. In the past, present and future.
Piett: You mean...
Herve: What......WHAT?!?!?!!!
Chronos: GONE!!!
Herve: GONE?!?!!
Chronos: ALL OF IT!!!
Herve: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Chronos: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Herve: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Chronos: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Herve: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Chronos: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
[Herve and Chronos collapse and embrace in their weeping sorrow...]
Piett: Well it's nice this particular and despicable character point needed to be touched on. Now I need to go pack my shit.
Voice: Don't bother, it's all gone too.
[Ben the Spider-Man - wearing a business suit - walks into the room, as movers carry items and objects past him.]
Piett: Ben?! What happened to you?!
Ben the Spider-Man: It seems back when Disney bought Marvel, they bought everything that had to do with it. Including offshoot products, loosely affiliated entities, and parody characters. Like me. They only until rather recently discovered I existed.
[Piett goes to chuckle, but he knows where this is going.]
Ben the Spider-Man: Likewise, the Disney/Lucas deal worked the same exact way. it's why they cancelled all those promising TV shows and video games in development, why they had Mel Brooks killed for Spaceballs...
Cosmos [aside to Piett]: This part will be awkward when Mel Brooks eventually does die...
Ben the Spider-Man: ...and why they're now literally dismantling and mothballing Quantum Piett forever.
[Herve and Chronos stop crying and return to the events at hand.]
Piett: So we're.....offshoot, loosely affiliated, parody? I've never known what, exactly.
Ben the Spider-Man: An annoyance, really. At first it was just to shut up the slight spinoff nature of Quantum Piett...
Herve: We fly around in a Super Star Destroyer and plow Twi'lek dancer girls and we're a "slight" spinoff.
Piett: I don't do alien sex.
Herve: Fine, we fly around in a Super Star Destroyer and *I* plow Twi'lek.
All: WE GET IT.
Herve: Harumph.
Ben the Spider-Man: But as they investigated what's been going on here and the overall property they realized.....expansion was limiteless, and very affordable.
Piett: Way to toot your own horn, Walsh.
[No problem.]
Piett: And they sent you to shut us down.
Ben the Spider-Man: Yeah. Sorry about that.
Piett: No problem. [looks up] FOURTH WORLD!!!
BOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!
[From a suddenly created Boom Tube emerges Darkseid, the New Gods of Apokolips! Seeker of the Anti-Life Equation! Destroyer of chaos, bringer of order! Big stoney guy with omega symbols all over him and no skirt.....wait, what?!]
Darkseid: Hello all!
Ben the Spider-Man: Darkseid?!
Piett: Can you please kill this Disney/Marvel lover, please?
Darkseid: Hells yeah! [blasts Omega beams at the hapless Spider-Man clone]
Ben the Spider-Man: WhaAARGGHHH!!!!! [dies]
Cosmos: Fun!
[Long pause.]
Darkseid: So......things don't look good here. Guess you're cancelled too, huh? I know how thay feels.
[Pause]
Piett: ......dude, you look like shit.
Darkseid [sighs]: Yes. I know. There have been...changes where I am as well.
[Darkseid hands Piett a New 52 DC comic book. And an advertisement for THE MAN OF STEEL. And other DC Comics handout things.]
Darkseid: Please support us. We could really use the business.
Piett [flipping through the comic book]: This......is totally unnecessary. I don't understand why all these things needed to be updated like this, find huge gaps of logic even skimming through it and wish it was still the same as what it used to be....
Darkseid: Believe me....I SO fucking know. I gotta go......keep looking like this now. Party on, dudes.
BOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!
[Darkseid enters the Boom Tube, back to Unpleasantville.]
Piett: Well that was another level of depressing we didn't need. It's.....it's probably time to go now.
Cosmos: Not packing?
Piett: Why bother?
Cosmos: Good, because all that stuff went to goodwill weeks ago.
Piett: Weeks?! Why didn't you tell us?!
Chronos: Doesn't seem like weeks. At all. You know, the timeline has been all fucky since you two jumped off that escalator to Heaven in what should've been the last adventure.
Herve [aside to Piett]: How does he know that? Didn't he die or something way before that story ended?
Chronos: YOU SEE?!?
Cosmos: I've never been good with bad news. Cadmus quit when I tried to tell him. Other supporting characters called with an earful when the checks started bouncing.
Herve: Those assholes were being paid to be assholes?!?
Chronos: Disney's said they're just putting us on the backburner.
Herve: Yeah, we're never coming back.
Piett: So this is all we could muster for the final farewell? What happened to the other supporting cast members from over the years?
Cosmos: They've vanished into the cavernous void of fan fiction, probably never to return.
Herve: I refuse to believe that. Walsh?!
[Right.]
¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø
AND NOW, THE INTERLUDE WHERE WE TELL YOU WHAT'S HAPPENED TO THE SUPPORTING CAST OF QUANTUM PIETT!
Chronos: You know, if Disney really *was* buying us, you'd think they'd want this to end a whole hell of a lot quicker...
Cosmos, Piett & Herve: SHUT UP!
*******
H.G. WELLS.
[In his library, Herbert George Wells sits scribbling some biology notes. Because, you'll recall, this version we've always used is an evil biologist. Even though he's sitting in a library. Hrm. Anyway, he suddenly perks up and realizes--]
H.G. Wells: Hang on. I'm an actual person. No one *owns* me.
[He runs out of his library, into the back room where he keeps his time machine, and flies away into the fourth dimension.]
....
[To say my logic on this character has always been solid is a lie. A damnable lie.]
BOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!
Darkseid: Oh shit did you just say oh shit you didn't right back to my shitty New 52 life bye again!
BOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!
*******
SUPREME PONTIFF HOOK.
[Living in a monestary, the now-Monsignor Hook has resigned as Supreme Pontiff. Replaced by an Argentinian man with one lung.]
Piett: Wait, I thought he hung himself via self-asphyxiation?
Cosmos: He did. That happened later when he realized he was replaced by an Argentinian man with one lung.
Piett: Ah. [pause] At least I remembered the best part.
*******
THE WEBMASTER.
Herve: ...is dead! He's dead!! I remember that one! Akira.....Gangnam Style.....North.....Korea.....
[Everyone else is looking at him.]
Herve: Frak it, I'm allowed to be proud of my solo adventures that don't always involved you bastards.
*******
LANDOZZEL.
[In his evil lair - which, again, is not explained very well because nothing was ever set there in past stories - Landozzel and his colleague H.G. Wells shake hands and embrace as their adventures also conclude.]
H.G. Wells: I'm glad I thought to venture over here. That means double pay for this story! Bwahaha!
Landozzel: Yeah, about th....oh never mind. Where are you off to, my friend?
H.G. Wells: Oh, I'm off to explore what came before and the shape of things to come.
Landozzel: How did you never reference that one before?
H.G. Wells: I know. It such an awesome one, isn't it? And you?
Landozzel: Retirement somewhere, I suppose. And I'll have to rename myself too. They won't find me and reintegrate me into the Star Wars mythos if I change my name.
H.G. Wells: Clever.
Landozzel: I'm thinking....Spockhan.
H.G. Wells: And compliment redacted.
Landozzel: Fine. Call me.....[grins evilly].....Ishmael.
Piett: Ha. Haha. He's funny. Very funny. Ass.
*******
GEORGE GAYNES.
[Still falling through the Space/Time Continuum. Still clutching his failed heart. Still--WHEN SUDDENLY!!!!!
George Gaynes: Oof!!! Dear Lord, where--Brian Blessed?!?
Brian Blessed: BY JOVE, MAN, GEORGE IS ALIVE!!!!!!
George Gaynes: Why are you yelling so much?
Brian Blessed: I'M BRITISH AND HAVE A STRONG DESIRE TO ALWAYS BE THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!
George Gaynes: I.....Are....are we flying blind on a rocket cycle?!?
Brian Blessed: WE ARE!!
George Gaynes: My goodness, I'm so glad I saw TED a few weeks ago and only now understand these references.
Brian Blessed: AND OFF YOU GO, ASSHOLE!!!
[Brian Blessed - wearing his Vultan the Hawkman outfit, btw, so you have to immediately ask why he's flying on a rocket cycle in the first place - kicks George Gaynes off and sends him back careening to an unknown fate in the colorful mystical voids of the Space/Time Continuum...]
*******
BEN THE SPIDER-MAN.
WhaAARGGHHH!!!!! [dies.......]
[Or not?]
[Ben the Spider-Man suddenly finds himself in the kitchen of a Pizza Hut.]
Ben the Spider-Man: Wha.......is THIS where he blasts everyone with his Omega eye beams?
Jeff Gordon: Move over, bud. Order up!
Steppenwolf: Order up? We don't say that. We just wait until the waiters eventually remember the order might be ready and they come over to check.
Glorious Godfrey: Hey how do I make these stuffed crust pizzas again?
Metron: Even I don't know that. Is there a training manual we can check?
Desaad: Training? HA!!
Ben the Spider-Man: This explains the service in every Pizza Hut everywhere. [pause] And I died to make that joke. Fuck me....
*******
KENNETH COLLEY.
[In his home, someplace in England because I'm not a stalker, Ken Colley stops what he's doing momentarily.]
Ken Colley: It......it feels like a dark nightmare is about to end. [pause] Good.
[He returns to whatever he was doing.]
*******
LUCY FERR.
[A gravestone marks her last location.]
Piett: Oh holy shit that's sinister!!
[No, no....she makes gravestones now. She owns a chain of gravestone stores. This particular gravestone was her last placed piece of merchandise.]
Piett: Oh. Whoa. That's....better?
[Financially, no, but we're getting boring enough without dissecting the trade of death in America. Speaking of that....]
*******
THE BOSS.
[A television screen displays his last known appearance anywhere. It is a scene from Lifetime's THE BIBLE, where it appears he is impersonating a certain President of the United States--]
Herve: JOHN TYLER!! [pause] Sorry. Guess I don't mind the Hall of Presidents either.
Piett: We don't have to watch this whole damn thing again [Herve mouths "again?"] to know what happens to him, right?
Chronos: No. He ended up getting stuck in the movie and has to relive it all over and over again. The Boss exists now only as a fictional character in being watched by conservative little old church ladies. Funny, really.
Piett: I see. [pause] So wait, why is bad stuff like death and cancer and reality TV and EVERYTHING HAPPENING TO US NOW still happen?
Cosmos: Because you touch yourself at night.
Chronos: Well, fuck, then, no one's safe...
Cosmos: And before you start hoping for some eternal hell war involving feuding rivals trying to take his throne, and maybe us for some stupid reason...
Herve: No one's hoping for that. Ever.
Cosmos: ....Disney bought hell too. And Heaven too, probably. A few days before us. Right after they bought Apple. And a day before Google caved to their offer.
Piett: Shit. Disney really does own everything now.
Cosmos: They don't own Yankee Candle yet. Seriously, that's it.
Herve: WOW.
¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø
Piett: So that's it?
Cosmos: Yes. No one else cooperated in wanting to do a cameo or even allow a reference, and are probably being killed by Disney officials now for it...
Herve: And you two....
Chronos: I still think we should renig on that offer and just go to the Bahamas, Cos.
Cosmos: For the last time, Chronos, it is not a gay resort and it is NOT the actual Atlantis!!
Chronos: You're no friggin' fun...
Herve: Why not go back to your homeland....Natori-Vilal? The universe within a molecule within a molecule of space and time's butt or whatever?
Cosmos: Oh no, they're not gay friendly there at all.
Chronos: Republicans are......EVERYWHERE.
Piett: And how does reality exist without this place, or you?
Cosmos: Well, we've mostly been doing guesswork all these years. Plus the time turbine will keep things going, and Disney wasn't insane enough to overlook that.
Piett: Time turbine?
Cosmos: Yeah. Giant generator thingamabob in the basement. The thing that truly channels the powers of the universe and allows the passage of time and its cohesive nature with space. We never went through this with you? Never even had a story chapter feature it in any way?
[Piett and Herve shrug.]
Cosmos: Well, that explains a lot.....most everything, probably.
[Suddenly the walls around them begin to pixalate.]
Chronos: Oh shit, this is it!!
[Chronos grabs his bag of belongings - mainly some shirts, shorts, stuffed animals and--what's this?]
Chronos: It's......IT'S SOME PORNOGRAPHY!!!
Herve: AAAHHHHOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!
Chronos: On video cassette!!
Herve: Oh.
Chronos [looking up]: God in Heaven......you haven't been bought out AT ALL!
[Cosmos and Chronos also begin to pixelate out of clear sight.]
Cosmos: And one more thing, my colleagues in space and time.........never contact us. Ever. Stay away from wherever we are at all times. Please. I've.....just had enough of you, and you're HIDEOUSLY dangerous people I no longer wish to have anything to do with ever again.
Chronos: Ttyl, boyos! Cya on the other side at some point!
[Cosmos slaps Chronos for contradicting his final dickish moment....then kisses his cheek better, as they disappear forever.]
Piett: Al.....right then. There those assholes go. Wow.
[Silent pause, as the mansion - and indeed, even the swirling elements of the Continuum beyond it - fades away.]
Piett: So......this is it?
Herve: Seems that way, yes.
Piett: What happens to us.....once all this officially goes away? I mean, we don't have an exit strategy like these 2 got.
Herve: Oh. Yeah. Shit. Well, I figure we'll go back to where we were before we started this grand confusing series of adventures.
Piett: Oh....OH!!!
Herve: What?
Piett: Don't you remember?! I was about to DIE at the end of Return of the Jedi!
Herve: Have I ever told you that it's SO WEIRD that you're know you were a movie character?
Piett: Forget that! I don't wanna die!!
Herve: "Die, dickhead".....heh, YOU were the dickhead. I did forget that.
Piett: I WAS!
Herve: You.,....YOU WERE! Gah!!!
[Pause]
Piett: ......I'm actually ok with it.
Herve: What?!
Piett: I've lived quite a life thanks to.....this quantum world that's currently evaporating forever all around us. I've made friends and enemies and other questionable supporting character associations......I've seen incredible sights and places and things and shit go down......for more than a few natural lifetimes could've ever generated. I've been to Heaven and Hell and back again. And I met William Daniels. [pause] I'm good.
Herve: Fuck. And I thought going back to being part of the 4th smallest office services provider in southern Idaho was bad...
[Without anymore words, Herve and Piett hug. They stop to try and act like that was a momentary glitch in their manhood. But it wasn't. It was just right.]
Herve: Holy fucking shit, did Walsh just turn gay?!
Piett: That schlock belongs on Lifetime with my ex-brother-in-law.
Herve: Ouch. Well at least you won't see him when you die. You'll get to hang around murdered Lone Ranger and John Carter executives and have unsold Mars Needs Moms and Home on the Range DVDs shoved up your ass in hell for eternity.
Piett: Really? Couldn't even give the Empire a chance to maybe be on the right side of things?
[Pause]
Piett: Oh you're right, of course I'm going to hell. [sigh] I *have* seen enough.
[They begin to fade.]
Piett: Goodbye, old chum.
Herve: Fare thee well, dick. And remember....may the Force be with you. Always. [pause] Especially for the next few minutes when you die.
Piett: Yeah. That's just what I needed.
[Herve gives him the Spock salute. Piett gives him the middle finger. They laugh......and then are gone.
¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø,¸¸,ø¤°`°¤ø
.......AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Piett crashes down on a smooth steel floor. He sits up as fiery chaos has erupted around him. The Super Star Destroyer Executor is veering out of orbit of the Death Star and in a fatal free fall toward the space station. His second-in-command, Gherant, lies dead next to him, his skull cracked open and smeared against a computer console. Officers around him are screaming and dying and running in vain effort to yet live. Many embarassing sights and sounds fill the command bridge. Grown men screaming for their mothers, cursing the Emperor and gods alike, crying hysterically, and - beside Piett on the floor - a data technician vomits his guts out in terror, and somehow finding the breath amidst the bile to scream "Oh Gods above, I'm pissing and shitting at the same time!"
Piett: THIS is how it ends. [looks up] Years of thinking how you could end this drivel and it's LIKE THIS?! Well, that's it dammit. Get it over with! Cut me off mid sentence and slap that big italicized *fin* on to tell us it's--
[WHEN SUDDENLY A TEAR IN THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME OPENS......AGAIN!!!!!!]
Piett: Holy crap!!! [falls backwards]
Herve [wearing a sombrero]: DUDE!!!
Piett: WHAT?!?!!!
Herve: I take back all that crap I said about the Idaho office services industry!
Piett: You didn't say anything, you only implied it!
Herve: Whatever!! This shit is WHACK! Come on!
Piett: You mean--?!?
Herve: Shouldn't you know by now........IT NEVER ENDS!!!!!!!!
Piett: YEAH!!!!!!
[Piett leaps through the fabric of space and time.......
THUS ENDETH THE ADVENTURES OF QUANTUM PIETT!
Piett: Probably.
[Yeah, probably.]
Piett: Gotcha.
*FIN*
:)
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