Literary Disasterpiece

Herve: What's going on here? [pause] Is that Nathaniel Hawthorne? Watching Easy A, the modern cinematic retelling of The Scarlet Letter?
Piett: How did you know.......ANY of that?
Herve: Walsh was very blunt with the title.
Piett: Ah. Apologies. I've been too.....entranced by what's happening here.
Herve: What, exactly, has been happening here?
Piett: Well, he's mainly been swearing a lot and yelling at the TV screen. Dropping f bombs with the greatest of ease.
Herve: Would part of it be that he's amazed and horrified at the sight of moving pictures.
Piett: No, he's pretty accepting of that. He's just trashing this movie. Also, he's very upset that Stanley Tucci degraded himself by being in this film.
Herve: How the shit does Nathaniel Hawthorne know who Stanley Tucci is?
Piett: I've been attempting to grasp that one. As of yet, I have a vague shrug of the shoulders and disturbed look on my face as the only reply.
Herve: Is there a reason he's sitting in our lounge watching this?
Piett: Not really. The visual just came to me in a dream one night and I had to make it a reality. [pause] I now regret that, because there really isn't much beyond the visual now, is there?

[Herve thinks for a moment.]

Herve: I see flashes of possible literary brilliance and probable literary stupidity.
Piett: Like that time we smoked crack with Lewis Carroll?
Herve: Dude, it was free crack. Shut up.
Piett: Or that time you kidnapped and starved Suzanne Collins because you didn't really understand the premise of "The Hunger Games"...
Herve: ...and then later realized I'd kidnapped and starved Joan Collins, who is....was....someone else entirely? Again with the shut up.
Piett: Or that time we snuck the Creature from the Black Lagoon into Walden Pond to blow Emerson's mind? Or we made Stephen King write a story not about Maine? Or we killed Edgar Allen Poe? Or the time you had a robot kill Martin Van Buren when you thought it was Isaac Asimov?

[Pause]

Herve: It's about on par with all those things.
Piett: So not worth it?
Herve: Nope.
Piett: Good. [aims ray gun at Nathaniel Hawthorne] Piss off, Hawthorne.
Nathaniel Hawthorne: Whaa-nGAHHHH!! [incincerated, dies]

Herve: I feel like we just deliberately skipped an adventure......not to mention murdering an American insititution.
Piett: Probably all for the best.

*fin*